Dating and mating for the woman over 50

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In school or work, you hung out with men by enjoying their company and spending time getting to know them. You aren’t getting any younger and you worry whether or not men will like you as you age (they do! So you try and get to the destination of finding out in 15 minutes if he is the one instead of enjoying the journey of attracting, meeting and getting to know a new man.You end up missing good men who could have been great male friends to hang out with when you’re taking a break from dating. Getting older is a drag, and after 50 is particularly fraught with tension.Do the sexy clothes you wore in the past now seem just plain wrong?There was a time when online dating carried a negative stigma. “After I cut him off, he wrote me a mean text that no one will want me if I’m stingy with money. He wasn’t looking for love; he was looking to be taken care of financially.” Looking back on the cyber courtship, she admitted she ignored red flags -- like the speed at which her suitor tried to move their relationship. The woman he believed he was in a relationship with did not exist.Over the years, however, using the Internet to find your future mate has become commonplace. When he confronted the woman, she admitted to stealing a friend’s Facebook pictures and creating a false identity because she did not feel her real persona was attractive enough. Every day for about a month, they would talk for hours on the phone, constantly exchanging emails and photos.

Part of the problem is that aging often requires change.

I surrender gladly to the passage, of course, especially as each new moment gone by is another I’ve lived with her, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss the days when my hair was actually all brown and my skin free of weird spots.

My girl is two, and I can tell you that nothing makes the arc of time more clear than the creases in the back of your hand as it teaches plump little fingers to count: one, two, tee.

This is a freedom you didn’t have when you were in your late teens and early 20’s.

Back then, you were looking for a man who you could mate and have children with.

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